List of feeling words, emotion words, or words that describe feelings. Feeling Words – B

babied babyish backward bad bad-tempered badgered baffled baited balanced ballistic bamboozled banal banished bankrupt banned bantered bare barracked barraged barred barren base bashful battered battle-weary battle-worn bawled out

bearable bearish beastly beat beaten beaten down beatific beautiful beckoned bedazzled bedeviled bedraggled befriended befuddled beggarly begged beguiled behind beholden beleaguered belittled bellicose belligerent belonging below average beloved bemused benevolent benign bent berated bereaved bereft beseeched beserk beset besieged besmirched besotted bestial betrayed better bewildered bewitched bewitching

biased big bilious bitched at bitchin’ bitchy biting bitter bizzare black blackened blacklisted blackmailed blah blame free blamed blameless blaming bland blank blanketed blas‚ blasphemous blasted bleak bled bleeding blighted blind bliss blissful blithe blocked bloody bloody-minded bloomed blooming blossomed blossoming blown apart blown arond blown away blown to bits blown to pieces blown up bludgeoned blue blur blurred blurry

boastful bodacious boggled bogus boiling boisterous bold bombarded bombastic bonkers bored boring bossed-around bossy bothered bothersome bought bouncy bound bound-up boxed-in bowled over

braced brainwashable brainwashed brainy brash bratty brave brazen breathless breathtaken breathtaking breezy bridled bright bright eyed bright eyed and bushy tailed brilliant brisk bristling broken broken-hearted broken-down broken-up brooding broody browbeaten bruised brushed-off busted brutal brutalized

bubbly bucky bugged buggered bullied bullish bullshitted bullshitted to bummed bummed out buoyant burdened burdensome buried burned burned-out burned-up bursting bushed bushwhacked busy buzzed bypassed

Words Describing Feelings

aback abandoned abashed abducted aberrant aberration abhorred abject ablaze able abnormal abominable about above average abrasive absent-minded absolved absorbed absorbent abstemious abstract

absurd abstracted abulic abused abusive abysmal abyssal accelerated acceptable accepted accepting accessible accident-prone acclaimed acclimated accommodated accommodating accomplished accosted accosting accountable

accredited accurate accusatory accused accusing acerbic aching acknowledged acquiescent acquisitive acrimonious activated active actualized accurate adamant addicted adept adequate admirable admiration

admired admiring admonished adorable adored adoring adorned adrift adroit adult adulterated advanced adventurous adverse affable affected affection affectionate affirmed afflicted affluent

affray affrayed affronted aflutter afraid against agape aggravated aggressive aggrieved aghast agitated aglow agnostic agog agonized agony agoraphobic agreeable ahead ail

ailed aimless airy alarmed alert alien alienated alive allied allowed allowing allured alluring alone aloof almighty alright altruistic amateur amazed amazing

ambiguous ambitious ambivalent ambushed amenable amiable amorous amused amusing analyzed anarchistic anchored anemic anesthetized angry angst angsty anguish anguished anhedonic animated

animosity annihilated annoyed annoying anonymous antagonistic antagonized anticipation antiquated antisocial antsy anxiety anxious apart apathetic apathy apologetic apoplectic apologized appalled appealed

appealing appeased applauded appraised appreciated appreciative apprehension apprehensive approachable appropriate approved approved of aquiver archaic ardent argued with argumentative aristocratic aroused arrogant artful

articulate artificial artistic artless ascetic ashamed asinine asleep asocial asphyxiated assaulted assertive assessed assuaged assured astonished astounded astute asymmetrical at a loss at ease at home at peace at peril at rest at risk at war atrociousa atrophied attached attacked attentive attracted attractive atypical audacious austere authentic authoritarian authoritative autocratic automated automatic available avaricious avenged average avid avoided awake awakened aware awe awed awesome awestruck awful awkward awry

Note There is an academic test called the “The Levels of Emotional Awareness Scale” which measures a person’s ability to express their emotions and is unrelated to my ideas on the various levels of emotional awareness.

Definition

Emotional awareness means knowing when feelings are present in ourselves and others. It is closely related to emotional literacy, which means being able to label feelings with specific feeling words. At its highest level it means being able to predict feelings in advance.

Levels of Emotional Awareness

This model deals mainly with levels of self-awareness. There are also levels of awareness of the feelings of other people.

Knowing the feeling is present	The first level of emotional awareness is knowing when feelings are present in ourselves. We become “aware” of the feeling when we first think about it or realize we feel something at that moment.Example: We might be feeling impatient and start to tap our fingers. But at first we are not aware either that we are tapping our fingers or of our feeling. Then we might notice we are tapping our fingers and we might also realize we are feeling impatient. We might also be saying to ourselves, “I can’t believe how long this is taking.” Then we might realize we are feeling judgmental by judging how long it “should” take. Another example: You are in a room. Another person enters. At first you don’t see them, but maybe you realize there is a new noise. You turn and then you see the person and become aware they are in the room.
Acknowledging the feeling	To continue the example of the person in the room with you. After you have become aware there is someone in the room, you might acknowledge that person by waving or saying hello. We may not know exactly what the feeling is, but if we notice and acknowledge that we have some feeling, we have taken the next step. Nature has given us a sophisticated guidance system in our feelings. Our negative feelings, for example, call our attention to things which are not healthy for us. They tell us when we are out of balance. If we feel lonely, for example, we need more connection with other people. The literature on emotional intelligence points out that our feelings direct us to what is important to think about. Through thought, our feelings can point us to the to the causes of our negative feelings and to possible solutions. But if we fail to acknowledge our negative feelings, we won’t be able to focus our attention on the problem that needs to be solved. For nature’s inner guidance system to function we must acknowledge our feelings. Many people try to stop themselves from feeling their negative emotions. They may use drugs and alcohol. They may use entertainment and distraction. They may also try to simply deny the existence of their negative feelings. Even education, memorization, intellectual or religious pursuits can serve to stop us from acknowledging our feelings. All of this defeats nature’s purpose in supplying us with negative feelings.
Identifying the feeling	Still continuing the example of the person in the room, a further acknowledgment of the person could be to greet the person by name. In a similar way we can identify and name our feelings once we realize we have them. The more specific we are in identifying our feelings, the more accurate we can be in identifying the unmet emotional need and taking appropriate corrective action. In particular with anger, it helps to identify the more specific or more primary feelings. Even with our positive feelings it helps to identify them specifically so we can use this information to help us create happier lives. Like anything else, the more we practice identifying emotions, the better we get at quickly selecting the correct name for the feeling. Each time we identify an emotion and assign a label to it, the brain’s cognitive and emotional systems work together to remember the emotion, the circumstances and the label for the emotion. I read once that just the simple act of naming a feeling helps us feel better, and I have often found this to be true. Evidently this happens for several reasons. First, we have a natural fear of the unknown. When we label our feeling, we move it from the unknown to the known and thus we help make it less scary and more manageable. Second, when we label it, we are using a different part of the brain than where we feel the feeling. I suspect that we are actually diffusing and moving the chemicals from their concentration in the emotional section to the cognitive section where the pain is not felt as much. Finally, by beginning to think about our feeling, we are also taking the next step towards solving our problem. When our thoughts are clear, this helps us feel more in control and empowered.
Accepting the feeling	Going back to the person in the room, after we have greeted him by name, we can help him feel accepted. Similarly, once we have felt, acknowledged and identified our feelings, the next step in emotional awareness and in benefiting from the natural value of our emotions is to accept the feeling. Sometimes we might think that we shouldn’t feel the way we do. Such thoughts are the result of beliefs which have been programmed into us by others. One of the primary benefits of a highly developed emotional intelligence, though, may be that it helps us become more independent from the opinions and beliefs of others. Instead of listening to others’ voices, we are able to put more value on our inner voice, a voice which speaks to us through our individual emotions. There are several benefits to fully accepting our feelings. First, our feelings are a major part of us. Accepting our feelings is therefore a major part of self-acceptance. This does not mean we wish to stay as we are, but I agree with those who say it is easier to make positive changes in our lives if we first accept that we are how we are at the present moment. Second, accepting our feelings takes less energy than trying to deny or suppress them. Third, accepting our feelings sometimes helps prevent them from recurring over and over. Finally, when we have fully accepted our feelings we can shift our energy to productive thoughts or actions.
Reflecting on the feeling	Reflecting on our feelings actually could come at two different levels of emotional awareness. First, at a low level of emotional awareness we might only reflect on our feelings after the fact. We might lay awake at night, for example, and think about an event during the day and our feelings about that event. This might help lead us to identifying our feelings sooner in the future. I believe, though, that when our emotional intelligence is highly developed, the process of feeling our feelings and identifying them takes place quickly enough for us to reflect on the feeling nearly instantaneously or in “real time.” The sooner we can accurately identify the feeling and reflect on it, the sooner we can take actions which are in our best interest.
Forecasting feelings	The more aware of our feelings, the better chance we have of predicting how we will feel in the future. This can be thought of as forecasting our feelings. We can improve this ability by considering how we will feel if we choose one course of action as opposed to another. The value of this ability can not be overstated. Only when we can predict our feelings can we make decisions which will lead to our long term happiness. Consider these statements: I know I am going to regret this. I know I will feel guilty if I do this. versus It’s going to feel so good to… I know I will feel better if I … In the first case, our prediction of negative feelings is trying to help us avoid something. In the second case, our prediction of positive feelings helps motivate us. We simply make better decisions when we listen to our inner messages, in other words, our feelings. The ability to forecast feelings extends to other people as well. In other words, when we are more aware of our own feelings and develop a greater ability to forecast our own feelings, it is more likely we will be able to forecast how someone else will feel. This naturally leads to being more considerate of others. Simply put, as we get in touch with our own feelings we realize that what doesn’t feel good to us probably won’t feel good to others.

Additional Notes

Emotional Awareness and Happiness

I believe emotional awareness is a key to leading a happier and more fulfilling life. To really “know oneself,” as the Greek philosophers urged us to do, requires that we know how we feel in all of life’s many situations. When we know how we feel we know what we enjoy doing and who we enjoy doing it with. We know who we feel safe with, who we feel accepted by and understood by.

Though we might be able to lead a productive life, even a “successful” life — if one defines success by the level of status, education, or material worth — it is unlikely we will actually ever be happy unless we are very aware of our specific feelings. In fact, it is quite possible to be successful and miserable, as I have written about with respect to my own life. It is easy to accept without question other people’s definition of success and happiness. But when we become more aware of our own true and unique feelings we are more likely to find our own individual happiness. This may be the essence of using our emotional intelligence.

Emotional Awareness, Sensitivity and Numbing

If we are emotionally sensitive we will feel things sooner than others will. If we have no emotional sensitivity, or we have numbed ourselves from our feelings we won’t have any emotional awareness at all. Sensitive people living in abusive environments and insensitive cultures learn ways to numb themselves from their feelings because so many of their feelings are painful.

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Emotional Awareness and the Academic Model of Emotional Intelligence

In my adaptation of the academic model of emotional intelligence I place emotional awareness under the first branch of their framework. This first branch is emotional identification, perception and expression. Increasing your awareness of your own feelings is perhaps the first step towards furthering the development of your EI.

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Note on the Mayer et al definition and on testing

I believe the ability to forecast our feelings is probably a legitimate part of emotional intelligence, but Mayer et al have not addressed this as yet. I am not certain how you would test this with a paper and pencil test, but not all aspects of emotional intelligence are suitable for such tests. As Mayer et al acknowledge there is more to emotional intelligence than can be tested. Though they don’t stress this in their writing, they do say effectively the same thing when they say that “aspects of” emotional intelligence can be tested. This clearly implies that they leave open the possibility that there are also aspects of it which can never be tested in a formal, controlled fashion.

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Raising awareness of, and Identifying feelings - The example of “You won’t hear from me again.”

To raise awareness of feelings, it helps to ask two questions when someone says something:

1) How is that person feeling?

2) How did they want the other person to feel?

Here are some questions which might help you if you are trying to understand your own depression:

• Have I lost something? A belief? A dream, a relationship? A vision? Is there some disillusionment? Some unmet expectation? Unfulfilled desire?
• Am I feeling productive? Am I accomplishing anything?
• Do I feel focussed? Do I have any goals I am working towards?
• Am I feeling pessimistic about something? About several things? Am I feeling discouraged about something? Hopeless?
• What beliefs are helping me feel pessimistic, discouraged, hopeless?
• Am I looking for something on the outside to happen before I will feel better?
• Am I feeling dependent on someone?
• Do I feel resentful about something? About someone?
• Am I feeling disconnected from my emotional support system? Do I have an emotional support system?

Then ask yourself:

• What would help me feel more optimistic? More encouraged?
• What beliefs can I change?
• What can I find to appreciate? To be thankful for?
• What would help me feel more connected to others, or less dependent on them?
• What could I do to strengthen my emotional support system?
• What small goal could I achieve right now that I am sure I can do?

Taking your feelings one by one helps you feel less overwhelmed. And it helps you identify you emotional needs. When you feel better in just one area, it helps you feel more capable of handling the other negative feelings.

When depressed, or preferably before, it helps to isolate each specific feeling which contributes to the over-all loss of motivation and energy. When the specific feelings are identified, you have more information with which to work. From this information you will be better prepared to take action or least think about a plan to address each specificl negative feeling individually. With each specific negative feeling, ask yourself, “What would help me feel less (lonely, unproductive, discouraged)”

General Guidelines

Here are few general guidelines for managing negative emotions. .

First, identify the feeling.

Next, ask if is a healthy feeling. Then list your options and chose the one which is most likely to lead to your long-term happiness.

After asking these first two questions, the next step is to ask what would help you feel better.  focus on answers which are in your control, since it would be easy, but not too helpful, to think of things ways others could change so you would feel better.

Another question is to ask how you want to feel. This helps you direct your thoughts in a positive direction.

To summarize, here are some helpful questions:

• How am I feeling?

• Is it a healthy feeling?

• How do I want to feel?

• What would help me feel better (that I can control)?

Here are a few of the reasons our emotions are important in our lives. By the way, the first few chapters of Goleman’s 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence, have a good presentation on evolution and emotions.

Survival

Nature developed our emotions over millions of years of evolution. As a result, our emotions have the potential to serve us today as a delicate and sophisticated internal guidance system. Our emotions alert us when natural human need is not being met. For example, when we feel lonely, our need for connection with other people is unmet. When we feel afraid, our need for safety is unmet. When we feel rejected, it is our need for acceptance which is unmet.

Decision Making

Our emotions are a valuable source of information. Our emotions help us make decisions. Studies show that when a person’s emotional connections are severed in the brain, he can not make even simple decisions. Why? Because he doesn’t know how he will feel about his choices.

Boundary Setting

When we feel uncomfortable with a person’s behavior, our emotions alert us. If we learn to trust our emotions and feel confident expressing ourselves we can let the person know we feel uncomfortable as soon as we are aware of our feeling. This will help us set our boundaries which are necessary to protect our physical and mental health.

Communication

Our emotions help us communicate with others. Our facial expressions, for example, can convey a wide range of emotions. If we look sad or hurt, we are signaling to others that we need their help. If we are verbally skilled we will be able to express more of our emotional needs and thereby have a better chance of filling them. If we are effective at listening to the emotional troubles of others, we are better able to help them feel understood, important and cared about.

Happiness

The only real way to know that we are happy is when we feel happy. When we feel happy, we feel content and fulfilled. This feeling comes from having our needs met, particular our emotional needs. We can be warm, dry, and full of food, but still unhappy. Our emotions and our feelings let us know when we are unhappy and when something is missing or needed. The better we can identify our emotions, the easier it will be to determine what is needed to be happy.

Unity

Our emotions are perhaps the greatest potential source of uniting all members of the human species. Clearly, our various religious, cultural and political beliefs have not united us. Far too often, in fact, they have tragically and even fatally divided us. Emotions, on the other hand, are universal. Charles Darwin wrote about this years ago in one of his lesser-known books called “The Expression of Emotion In Man and Animal”. The emotions of empathy, compassion, cooperation, and forgiveness, for instance, all have the potential to unite us as a species. It seem fair to say that, generally speaking: Beliefs divide us. Emotions unite us.

Here are a few suggestions for communicating your negative feelings:

• Don’t be dramatic.
• Don’t wait till things build up.
• Be brief.
• Don’t blame or lay guilt trips.
• Talk about how you feel.
• Ask how the other person feels.
• Offer a way to save face. (For example, “Perhaps I misunderstood you,” or “I know your intentions were good.”)

Sometimes when someone is depressed and not talking people will say, “What are you thinking?” For many people, this is not a helpful question. When they are depressed it is too hard to answer that question.

When you are depressed your energy level is very, very low. To explain what you are thinking simply takes too much energy.

That is why it is better to ask someone how they are feeling, if you need to ask them anything at all. There is a chance that they can find one word to summarize how they are feeling, or one word to tell you the main feeling. For example, they might say, “Alone.” This could be a start to helping them talk.

You might ask something like, “Are you afraid of telling me what you are thinking or how you are feeling?” They might say yes. Or they might say nothing. Here is a case story:

The other day I asked someone if she was afraid to tell me what she was thinking and she said nodded her head yes. So this was a small step forward. I think she felt a little more understood, which in turn helped her feel less afraid to start opening up, which she did shortly after that.

More Suggestions

- Don’t tell depressed people what you think. If they tell you something, don’t disagree. Just listen.

- If they have an idea, don’t discourage it. Just listen.

- Don’t try to explain anything. Just listen and let them come up with their own explanations. If they want to hear your opinion about something, they will probably ask you.

- Don’t say things like

Maybe it is because…
She probably….
I think it is because…
It could be because…
That is because…

- Don’t tell them what you think before you tell them how you feel. Or maybe, don’t tell them what you think at all.

- Show them that you care by staying with them, if that is okay with them.

- Give them some control by asking things like “Is it okay if I stay here?”

- If you need to leave, tell them where you are going and when you will be back so they won’t feel abandoned. If possible, ask them if it is okay if you go before you leave..

- Help them feel in control

- Ask if you can sit next to them. If they cant talk ask if they could give you some signal for a yes or a no answer such as showing one or two fingers. Or if they would like you to take their hand, ask them to squeeze it once for yes and twice for no.the more in control they feel, the safer they will feel and the less pain.

- If they cant move or talk or express anything, tell them how you feel, if it is not something negative. Show acceptance, caring, understanding, patience.

- Try to reduce their fears you will abandon them.

  Many people consider success to be purely financial. For some the creation of a healthy bank balance gives them self esteem, self confidence and pride. Money talks. Undoubtedly having money can provide peace of mind and security but the love of money above anything else can lead to a very shallow life.

  The abundance that is there for everybody to obtain doesn’t come from money alone; it come from having a fulfilling life, taking on adventures and living your dreams. The word “reward” conjures up images of money; money earned or money gained from passing on information. But the rewards in life can be so much greater. Giving and helping others breeds contentment and satisfaction to a degree that many other activities fail to achieve.

  Obviously raising money for charity is a noble thing to do. Even charities need money to survive. I can remember as a schoolboy doing events like sponsored swims and sponsored silences (yes I did manage to do this). At such a tender age I can still recall the pride that I felt having given my time selflessly.

  Doing good works for others doesn’t necessarily have to come in the name of charity. We can do good deeds every day. Even our work can provide a sense of satisfaction when we are able to help to provide a service for someone. Going that extra mile, doing that little bit more for somebody beyond what we are paid for can provide enormous rewards, and yes, sometimes that can mean financially as well.

  This year I am hoping to do more charitable work. It is my intention to sign up for a project for which I will spend a week in Sharm/Sainai/Egypt, along with other like minded people, constructing extensions to an orphanage for children with learning difficulties.

  Helping others to better their lives is a reward in its self. It’s surprising how doing things selflessly for others without striving for money can provide inspiration and motivation for others to do the same. It also does wonders for your self confidence and self esteem too.

How fantastic is that?